Saturday, November 3, 2012
Week 10- Knapp's Relationship Model
The most intriguing concept that I couldn't stop reading into was Knapp's model on relationship development. The stages in coming together and the stages in separating and what determines that in a relationship really opened my eyes. After I read what brought a relationship together, I saw my previous/current relationships built upon this model. First we initiate the other party for a common communication ground. Then, we experiment by talking about iffy subjects. For example, "how many girls have you slept with" is a personal subject to ask another party right off the bat. Then, came intensifying stage, where the constant thinking of each other and calling nicknames became relevant. Finally, integrating immersed when I felt like I was dating myself in a different gender! He started copying my sayings and I said his jokes. (kinda creepy on the outside). Now comes the utterly dreadful stages of a breakup being determined within a relationship. The differentiating stage of arguing with your partner based on not understanding their feelings or attitudes. "How can you like her outfit, it's so ugly!" is a prime example of not understanding the relational culture. I disliked finding out things about my partner in which I thought to be disgusting. Next is the circumscribing stage, where our communication fell off. "I dont want to talk about it" really grinds my gears, because I want to talk about it. I would feel an absentee of trust, and completely shut off from the "real" person. The stagnating stage is when our relationship became silent and just awkward and hostile. Everything being said wasn't happy or pleasant, and our communication was barely there. You could live with a person, yet never say more than 3 words the entire day. The avoiding stage is almost breaking up, I couldn't stand to be around or close to them; especially sexually. And finally, the terminating stage, where we did break up, either mutually or not.
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Your interesting topic for this chapter I almost wrote about also. I found this very intriguing how the stages of a relationship can come about. The model very well shows how one of my unsuccessful relationships went from its highest point to a terminated relationship. I feel as if we all start off at that point where we initiate and we have the intensifying stage. I like to call that the best stage. Your so in like with someone you do not see any flaws and it’s like they seem to be the best person for you. I feel like after these stages you see the person for who they are and either you find a way around it with some annoyances or it leads down the termination road.
ReplyDeleteI wrote about this topic as well! It was so interesting to me how the stages of relationships work, and I found myself relating to almost all of them. The avoiding stage I find to be the hardest, I have personally sat in that stage for years wanting to end a relationship but finding myself having too hard of a time to do so. I think the terminating stage is difficult as well because if its not mutual, it leaves one feeling tremendous pain.
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